Category Archives: recipes

Deep Fat Fried Twinkies

deep-fried-twinkies-6-05

Fried Twinkies have become so ubiquitous that they’re no longer funny. Just downright disgusting. But this recipe from the White Trash Cookbook made me laugh:

Buy enough twinkies for your family.

You will need some used popcicle sticks or clean twigs.

Bowl of buttermilk
Bowl of unsalted cracker meal
Bowl of flour

First you have to freeze the twinkies. Once they freeze over, start to heat up your favorite oil to about 350 degrees. I use Goya lard because all the added saturated fat just adds more flavor. Next stick popcicle sticks or clean twigs into the ends of your frozen twinkies. Holding the twinkies by the stick, dip them one by one in your bowl of flour. Then one by one dip into the buttermilk. Finally the cracker meal. Dunk each Twinkie into the hot oil, holding it by the stick of course. Try not to be wearing your favorite tuxedo or silk shirt because the oil is going to be rocking and rolling with insanity. Some about deep frying twinkies does this. Anyway, let each Twinkie fry for five to seven minutes. Until golden brown and crispy.


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Blackpot Magic

This recipe is a good time. It comes from an old friend’s mother, who lives up in Virginia. We swampified it by adding rum, and took it to the Blackpot Festival (a good time in itself–one of my favorite things to do in October) over in Lafayette, Louisiana. With or without rum, it’s now a staple at all evening cold weather events, from festivals to 5K’s. Just don’t get all riled up when you read the tacky ingredients. It is what it is. And it is pretty fine:

Dry ingredients (can be pre-mixed and stored in the freezer):
1 + 2/3 cup TANG
1 package (19 oz.) lemonade drink mix
1 + 1/2 cup plain instant iced tea
2 + 1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp ground cloves

Wet ingredients:
Water
Rum (optional)

Mix the dry ingredients together in a big bowl and set aside. Boil some water in a pot. Use the TANG instructions for proportion. Stir in dry ingredient mixture until it dissolves. Add a little extra water. This stuff is sweet. Pour it into a thermos and go serve it up hot. Make sure to have some tin mugs like the one pictured above.

If you decide to swampify, just add rum to your liking. You may want to hold back on the extra water in this case, because the rum will cut the sweetness. And watch it! I am very serious. This is one of those deals where you can’t taste the liquor. Pay close attention to the amount of rum that you pour in, not whether you can taste it, or you’ll just end up on the kitchen floor and miss the party. Actually, I imagine that’s good  general advice about the use of rum.

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Tom Collins

The perfect summer drink. My friends and I are just absolutely having one of these on the porch whenever we get the chance…most recently to celebrate electricity in South Louisiana.

Here’s what you need:
gin
limes
sparkling water
simple syrup
ice

Here’s how you do it:
Fill the glass with ice
Pour in gin to your liking
Add the juice of one lime
Stir in a tablespoon of simple syrup (in a pinch, I just use about a half teaspoon of sugar)
Mix well
Top with sparkling water

Et voila, cher.

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The-week-before-I-got-dumped Salad

This recipe is from my friend Emily, and the salad is almost as fabulous as she is. It’s perfect: easy, cool, and refreshing, with a sassy tanginess to boot. Only a fool would walk out on such a fine concoction. Of course the poor fellow finally gathered his wits and came back. Then she gathered her wits and told him to scoot along. And then he came back again. And she took him back again. But now they’re over. We ate this salad a lot over the past few months, and I never got tired of it.

In a medium bowl, combine the following:
1/2 cup fresh mint leaves, torn or chopped
1 T capers, roughly chopped
1 small shallot, thinly sliced
1 t grated lemon zest
1/4 cup olive oil
1/8 t salt
1/4 t pepper

Then add…
1 lb pkg baby peas, thawed
1/2 c crumbled goat cheese (I just use feta)

and toss gently.

That’s GENTLY — don’t mash those peas!

Serve at room temperature.

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